Your textbook says keigo is “polite Japanese” — add です (desu) and ます (masu) and you’re respectful.
As a native speaker, here’s the answer that actually holds up: keigo is three separate systems, and Japanese adults mess them up so often that companies run keigo training for new employees. We are not born knowing this stuff.
See keigo as a machine with three gears and it stops being scary.
Quick Answer: The Three Types of Keigo
Keigo (敬語) is Japanese honorific speech, with three branches: teineigo (丁寧語) — general politeness, sonkeigo (尊敬語) — raising the other person, and kenjougo (謙譲語) — lowering yourself.
| Type | Kanji | What it does | Example: “to go” |
|---|---|---|---|
| Teineigo | 丁寧語 | Polite finish (です/ます) | 行きます (ikimasu) |
| Sonkeigo | 尊敬語 | Raises the listener/subject | いらっしゃる (irassharu) |
| Kenjougo | 謙譲語 | Lowers yourself | 参る (mairu) |
Same verb, three forms. That’s the whole system.
The Real Logic: Direction, Not Politeness
Textbooks present keigo as a politeness dial. From the inside, it’s about direction — who goes up, who goes down.
- Sonkeigo points up: it lifts the other person’s actions. Sensei ga irasshaimashita — “the teacher (honorably) came.”
- Kenjougo points down at yourself: Asu mairimasu — “I will (humbly) come tomorrow.”
- Teineigo points nowhere. It’s just a clean, polite finish.
Here’s the verb table natives actually carry in their heads:
| Plain | Teineigo | Sonkeigo (them) | Kenjougo (me) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 行く iku (go) | 行きます | いらっしゃる irassharu | 参る mairu |
| 言う iu (say) | 言います | おっしゃる ossharu | 申す mōsu |
| する suru (do) | します | なさる nasaru | いたす itasu |
| 食べる taberu (eat) | 食べます | 召し上がる meshiagaru | いただく itadaku |
Notice something? いただきます (itadakimasu) before a meal is literally kenjougo — “I humbly receive.” You’ve been using keigo since your first anime episode.
Even Japanese People Get Keigo Wrong
No textbook admits this, so let me say it plainly: keigo is a struggle for natives too.
- New employees get formal training. Fresh graduates sit through seminars on phone and email keigo. If keigo were natural to us, this industry wouldn’t exist.
- “Baito keigo” (バイト敬語) — the inflated pseudo-keigo of part-time workers — drives purists crazy. よろしかったでしょうか (past tense for a present question) is technically “wrong,” yet you’ll hear it at every chain café in Japan.
- Double keigo (二重敬語) like おっしゃられる (ossharareru) — stacking two honorific forms on one verb — is an error, and in my experience half the country does it under pressure. If native managers fumble keigo on Monday calls, you may too.
So what do you need? At N5–N4, teineigo only. At N3, learn to recognize sonkeigo said to you. Producing all three gears is an N2-and-above, working-in-Japan skill.
Keigo You Hear Every Day (But Never Need to Say)
Walk into any konbini and you’re bathing in keigo:
- いらっしゃいませ (irasshaimase) — “welcome” (sonkeigo of “come”)
- かしこまりました (kashikomarimashita) — “understood” (ultra-humble)
- お待たせいたしました (omatase itashimashita) — “sorry for the wait” (kenjougo)
My favorite asymmetry of Japanese life: the customer replies in plain form. The clerk performs full keigo; you answer はい、大丈夫です (hai, daijōbu desu). Keigo flows one way, like water downhill.
The Cold Side of Keigo
Textbooks frame keigo as respect. Natives also use it as distance.
If a friend who normally talks to you casually suddenly switches to keigo, that’s not politeness — that’s a wall going up. わかりました。もう結構です (wakarimashita, mō kekkō desu) from an angry partner is icier than any insult. We even have a word for weaponized politeness: 慇懃無礼 (ingin-burei), “courteous rudeness.”
It also means staying in stiff keigo with would-be friends quietly holds them at arm’s length. Knowing when to loosen matters as much as keigo itself — I cover that switch in casual Japanese phrases.
How Natives Actually Learn Keigo
Nobody masters keigo in childhood. We absorb teineigo at school, then crash-learn the rest during 就活 (shūkatsu, job hunting) — the way English speakers crash-learn business email etiquette. Keigo is an adult skill in Japan, closer to professional writing than to grammar. For how it interacts with -san and -sama, see the complete guide to Japanese honorifics — name suffixes and keigo are two halves of one respect system.
FAQ
What is keigo in simple terms?
Japanese honorific speech, in three branches: teineigo (general politeness with desu/masu), sonkeigo (raising others), and kenjougo (lowering yourself).
What’s the difference between sonkeigo and kenjougo?
Direction. Sonkeigo elevates the other person’s actions (irassharu — “he honorably goes”). Kenjougo humbles your own (mairu — “I humbly go”). Both raise the other person; they approach from opposite sides.
Do Japanese people use keigo every day?
Teineigo, constantly. Sonkeigo and kenjougo mostly in customer service and business — and many adults are shaky on them.
Do I need keigo as a beginner?
You need teineigo (masu form) from day one, plus the ability to recognize set phrases like irasshaimase. Producing the rest can wait until you have a concrete reason — a job, a formal email, an interview.
What is baito keigo?
“Part-time-job keigo” — inflated, technically incorrect honorifics used in service jobs, like yoroshikatta deshō ka. Purists hate it; everyone hears it daily. Proof that even natives improvise keigo.
💬 One Honest Tip From a Native
Keigo is the one part of Japanese where reading about it and doing it are different sports. You can memorize every form here and still freeze when a real 部長 (buchō, department manager) picks up the phone. The fix is simple: rehearse with a human who corrects you in real time — that’s how Japanese new hires learn it too.
→ Here’s how to find one without wasting money: How to Find a Japanese Tutor Online
Written by Rei — native Japanese speaker. Audio examples coming soon.
Last updated: July 2026
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